I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
