Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
