I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
