i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was not drunk enough for that final.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize