I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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