R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
