I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize