I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
His nipple licking is glorious
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