We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
