Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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