I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it was like eating out sand paper
the day after is always just damage control
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize