Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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