Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
