Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm like, not good at living.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
