So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
