If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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