it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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