I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
And then my night got REAL pukey
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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