girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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