it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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