at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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