maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
