Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
