Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
