I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
