epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
