The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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