So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
