I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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