We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
