You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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