hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
