Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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