would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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