I bet he comes in French.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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