so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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