with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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