hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
