i need an iv and a liver transplant
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did I show you my penis last night?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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