im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
