He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
