How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
