Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize