so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
