i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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