just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
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