are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
