I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
