Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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