You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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