Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
