and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
