I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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