You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize