You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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