Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize