Please, let me fuck your mom
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
