I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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