What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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